I realized this morning as I was walking down the hallway in my home that every step I took lead me in a particular direction. Of course, Andrea, you say, what’s new about that! And to you I say that I’m bringing this up because this is the first time I actually realized that I am in control of every step I take. It took me 40 odd years, but I’m here!! Without realizing it I walked down the hallway and I was in my kitchen, and I walked that walk. It was not fate, or chance that brought me there. I have many times in the past marveled about the fact that I can drive home from the grocery store or where ever with a million things on my mind and I have pulled into my driveway and I have even signaled that I was turning in. It does amaze me but this post is not about that.
Today I focused on how putting one foot in front of the other to take me somewhere was a choice I was making… consciously making. And that this applied to everything I have ever done in my life. Every step I took, every decision brought me to where I am today. Good or bad, right or wrong they were my decisions and my choices. I was sitting home for the past month grappling with the biggest writers block, wallowing in self-doubt, and stressed out that I would let myself down, yet again! And that was my choice, poor as it may seem.
But if moving forward and going somewhere is what I really want, the fact that I am staying stationary is a choice I am making and I must make a choice to move. This applies not only in my writing career, it applies to everything else. If I want a more tolerant world, then I must do my part to be tolerant and patient. If I want to leave a habitable planet for my children I must take steps to leave a smaller footprint, and if I want love to be at the center of my universe then I must love, period.
The best part of what I realized this morning was that while I could not step backwards, I could step forward and make choices to correct paths that I may have gone down before that led to dead ends. I could change course and take myself toward something incredible. Having a beautiful life, filled with positive energy, love and laughter… all of that is up to me. I can actually put one step in front of the other, step outside my comfort zone, and create a path even if I don’t see one out there. I am in control. I can be the pioneer of change in my life and yours. I can be the pebble that got chucked into the lake, the one making ripples, the one reaching out. It’s up to me and I can do it!